Television. Can't stand it.

I'm really starting to get fed up with television these days. While there are some shows that I enjoy and stay current with, it seems that every other week there's another one I have to abandon because it's become just the same tired thing every damn episode. Take for example South Park; in it's heyday, it was witty, provocative, edgy, and laugh-out-loud funny. After about season 11 it started getting unbelievably lame. Rather than coming up with new twists and original plots (Red sleigh down, All about Mormons, Make love not Warcraft, etc) they now just regurgitate already-played-out trends in pop-media without bring anything new to the table.

We get it, Apple made a huge thing with the iPad. It's fun to make fun of Apple. What's funny about this? The only funny thing to come from Trey and Matt recently was the episode Créme Fraiche. The Shake Weight bit was actually pretty funny.

    Also, what gives with all this royal wedding non-sense. It's been just over a week and they're STILL playing it and going on and on about this person's take on it, or that person's opinion of her dress, or what this means for the 2012 election. Does anyone give a shit? Can we all just agree to drop this please?

   But it doesn't stop there. Commercials have gotten so sickeningly stupid, that most of these companies have not only ensured that I will NEVER buy what they're selling, but I will mercilessly judge anyone that does. Perfect example is this asshole:

    A company such as Geico that continues to pump out commercials this trashy cannot possibly provide anything close to quality insurance. He is not funny, not clever, and certainly doesn't convey a sense of security and trust in the company itself. 

    Not to pick on Geico in particular, but can you please just pick an advertising campaign and stick with it? You have (let's count): the D-Bag pictured above asking rhetorical questions, the lizard with the accent (who is the only Geico mascot who actually provides some information about the company), the pretentious easily-offended caveman, the creepy stack of money with googly eyes, and the series of poorly-animated shorts that were supposedly made in 15 minutes ("I'm not your daddy, I'm your grandpa!"). What about these is supposed to make me want to put my faith in your product? Beside the fact that I don't have a car, I've gotten the sense that everyone at Geico is either stoned off their ass, or has an IQ hovering somewhere around their shoe size.

    What with the State Farm pedophile that REALLY wants to be my friend, the slew of Geico rubbish, the Progressive lady that tries desperately to be young and hip ("Unicorns and Glitter!!"), and J. Jonah Jameson teaching ignorant Farmers interns what insurance is all about, I'm really not sure I'm ever going to get a car. Too bad that doesn't stop me from being subjected to car insurance commercials. 

   I swear, as soon as they come up with a way for me to watch live baseball and my favorite shows on my computer the same time they're airing on cable, I'm throwing my cable box off a really, really tall building. There's no reason I should have to wait 3 days (or god forbid, PIRATE them) to watch the shows that I actually want to watch, on my computer. Fuck the cable companies and their monopoly over the shit I want to watch.

Fuck television.